This past Saturday I was being interviewed for a program that I applied to participate in. Some of the questions included things like "what are some of your strengths", "what are some of the areas you need to work on" and so on and so forth. The interview was quite stimulating to say the least and I found myself being able to answer the questions with ease and I felt totally comfortable.
During the interview we began to talk about women (its a program for women) and their belief that they can do a particular thing vs. men and what they believe they can do. The beautiful woman that I was talking with stated that it had been her experience that the women she had been in contact with for so many years had a limited belief of themselves and what they could do. The women sometimes felt that they were not equipped and needed more information, training and help where as the men she had been in contact with just felt like they could do anything. They didn't feel limited and felt they were already equipped. I got a bit emotional at the thought of this and was reminded of why I feel I was put on this earth in the first place: to build women spiritually, mentally and emotionally, something that comes as easy to me as breathing. It is my gift. It is what I do. I don't have to think about it, I don't have to search for people to encourage, I have just accepted what my calling is and live in it every day.
As a business woman, encouragement coach and entrepreneur I have met and talked to so many women and there has been one common theme: That women often feel inadequate, have low self-worth and have a poor image of themselves. And I have met some of the most beautiful, gorgeous, creative and powerful women. But it didn't matter what I or anyone else thought of these women what they often thought about themselves was shocking.
As I sat and continued my interview I could not get that statement that had been made earlier out of my mind. It would not leave me and continues to haunt me. I wake up thinking about all of the beautiful women who I have had the pleasure of meeting and who often feel like they aren't enough.
It reminds me of my own journey and how I often felt as a kid growing up, as an awkward teenager, as as a young women trying to figure out who the hell I was and now a divorced mother of four. Oh, the journey has been long and has often taken me down some of the loneliest roads. I would be lying if I said I wouldn't change anything about my journey because If I knew then what I know now, hell, I would definitely change some things. But I can't and I'm just thankful for the life lessons that I have learned along the way which is the purpose of the whole thing anyway right?
But back to the point. Why do we women often feel so inadequate, unequipped and just not good enough? is it because of the way we grew up and some of the experiences that we have had that have shaped our image of ourselves? Has our relationships with the opposite sex played a part in it? Our parents, siblings, co-workers, bosses, magazines... The truth is we could blame any number of these things for the way we see and feel about ourselves as they are all probably factors in the self-esteem self-worth equation. But the point is where do we go from here. How do we begin to see ourselves in a healthy light as the beautiful, powerful beings that we were created us to be?
It first starts with being authentic, true to yourself and NOT judging yourself. We tend to be so hard on ourselves and so judgmental of ourselves. Accept the fact that you are you in all your magnificence. Embrace every aspect of yourself. What is it about you that makes you YOU?! What are your unique qualities? What is it that only you can do? Whether you believe it or not you ARE special! You have been put on this earth to do something that only you can do. You have a purpose and you should make a decision to discover what that purpose is and begin to live it.
Find out what it is that YOU want for your life?! Not what everyone else thinks you should have, should do or should be. But what do you think and desire for your life. If there are any changes that you think you need to make then decide today to make those changes. Just make sure you are not looking at others around you and basing your decision about yourself on what you see in others. We tend to judge others' "best" features and characteristics against our "worst" ones and then get down on ourselves because we are not like so-and-so. No, you are not her you are YOU so just embrace YOU!
Understand that you have been equipped to do anything that is a desire in your heart to do. I'm not talking about a fantasy I'm talking about a dream that has been given to you. I'm talking about the thing that keep you awake at night and haunts your dreams when you sleep. I'm talking about the thing that you most desire to do. Find it, live it, do it, Be it!
So the next time an opportunity presents itself to you go for it. Don't question whether you can do it. Just know that you can and that you have already been equipped and that everything you need to do that thing will miraculously fall into place.
Live your life out Loud!